Christian Dating How Far is Too Far?

Now the answer to this is very simple – but because of the world we live in it’s become very complex. So this is going to take a bit of time to explain so bear with me. I am not going to tell you what to do – just take a look at the issues from God’s viewpoint (the Bible) and let you make up your own mind.

50 years ago many non-Christians would not kiss before marriage

The fact is, sex is not a black and white issue – as much as we would like it to be, so that we could be free to mess about and experiment and say “well we didn’t have sex”. We think that petting without having full sex will cause no harm to ourselves and others. What I mean is, people like to define sex as only the act of intercourse. Well in a way it is, but everything that leads up to this is specifically designed by God to end with intercourse. So in that sense, any form of physical intimacy with a view to experiencing pleasure and leading to intercourse is sex. So sex is really a sliding scale that starts with a kiss, and ends well… we all know where.

Made in the image of God – ‘our’ body is actually His temple

Now, if we weren’t made in the image of God, and we were just meant to wallow around on the level of animals (remember they do not have the same type of deep and advanced emotional makeup as humans and cannot think in the same rational or irrational way), and fool about and move from partner to partner for either procreational reasons or just pure gratification, then this would be fine – who cares?… what difference does it make. The problem is, we ARE made in the image of God. Not only that, The Bible specifically says God wants to dwell in us – and that our bodies are His temple. That’s serious!

We shouldn’t corrupt or steal something pure that was meant for someone else

Add to this the just as serious issue of the fact that God looks upon sex as a physical and spiritual joining of body mind and spirit – becoming truly one. You can’t get away from it – the real ‘marriage’ – the real joining and becoming one, happens when the man and woman come together physically – it’s then they become one spiritually – the physical is the ‘glue’ that is never meant to be pulled apart – and in fact cannot be without causing serious harm to spouses and children if they are around.

Playing around with someone you have no intention of marrying is stealing and corrupting the great gift of sex within marriage from them, and their future spouse

Now it’s crystal clear in the Bible that we are only meant to have one spouse for LIFE (we’re meant to rise above the animal kingdom in preparation for God giving us back and restoring our etherial bodies we lost in Eden?) So right off the bat we can now see why it’s so important to remain pure.

God’s forgiveness is needed, but it’s no license to sin

Having said all that – staying pure or celibate or avoiding fooling about without full sex is no easy task in today’s society where everyone and everything tells us to do the opposite – and that to stay celibate is narrow minded and daft and silly. So it requires resolve at the START – BEFORE you go into a relationship to explain to the other person they will not get sex – any physical with marriage. Of course holding hands is no sin but as I mentioned one needs to be aware sex is a sliding scale and it’s designed not to be stopped easily so Christian relationships require a strong will and resolve to please God – and crucially not steal something that is actually meant for someone else.

Dating Romance Scams Advice | Avoid 419 Scammers

Free Christian Dating Site

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We want all our members to be safe at Fusion101 and take special care approving each and every profile on our site and constantly monitor site activity and singles profiles. Something that anyone using the Internet must be aware of, are romance scams and dating scammers at large – because whilst there are very few cases of scams on fusion101 (it is unfortunately a complete rarity to find free dating sites that are romance scammer free) the fact is, it can happen to anyone on any dating site – paid or not, since most pay sites allow joining and basic usage of the site for free anyway.

So – what are ‘dating site romance scammers’?

romance scam is simply when some one poses to be someone they are not – eg from a country they do not actually live in or use a photo or create an identity that is fake and use this to gain your confidence and trust.

At some point the romance scammer or con artist will ask you for money – usually a little first to test your loyalty. Then using a number of pre-scripted emails and tugs on your emotional heart strings like; “I am stuck at the airport on my way to see you and lost my wallet” they will put you in a position where by not paying them you will feel an incredible amount of guilt. DON’T FALL FOR IT!

Never send money to anyone you meet on the Internet – EVER!

You can always use the card; “it’s not Internet etiquette” and you would not be lying! Of course being a Christian you might feel double guilty about not helping someone in a crisis but NEVER give in – here’s what you do;

YOU CALL OR EMAIL US AND WE WILL TAKE A LOOK AT THE PROFILE IN QUESTION AND GIVE OUR EXPERT ADVICE.

There – now you have no excuse to be scammed on the Internet. We have explained how not to be scammed on a dating site and pray this advice this protects you. You can even call us about someone on another site – we don’t care so long as you are not conned! We would like to pretend that fusion101 is 100% a dating site with no romance dating scammers but no dating site on the planet can claim this – we get them from time to time and we delete them almost faster than they signed up – if they get that far, as all profiles are personally vetted by a professional dating scam expert.


How do I avoid romance scammers on the Internet?

The number one way is to make this one single rule; NEVER SEND MONEY TO ANYONE YOU MEET ON THE INTERNET – PERIOD! They shouldn’t be asking over the Internet as it’s simply not fair (even if they are not a scammer) and you should not be emotionally manipulated by anyone. Simply reply to any request for money; “sorry but I have been told I am not to send money to anyone I meet online and I have made a rule to follow this advice”– and that should be the end of the matter! If the person on the other end does not accept this – then a red light should go up already and you should be heading for the exit!

NOTE: even if you have met someone they should still not be asking you for money – that’s a nother issue we would like to know about if it happens to you so we can remove that members on our dating site.

Generally though fusion101.com and fusion101.co.uk can be considered a scammer free dating site that is safe to use and we want to keep it that way. See our older article about online dating safety tips and guide with earlier methods often used.


How safe is online dating generally?

Not that safe unfortunatley on most dating sites. However on Fusion and other reputable dating sites who take spam, scammers and romance scams seriously it should not be a problem if you follow the basic ‘no to money’ rule as described above.


For most site scammers create more money!

Yep it’s true as more emails from members be they scammer or not they = more website actvity = more clicks = more $$$$!


How to spot a dating scammer on the Internet

It’s not that hard fotunately as most are forgeiners pretending to be English American Canadian or basically English speaking citizens. Here are a few pointers to go;

  • Borken english in profile, though this is now more common on legitimiate profile as phones often wrongly auto-correct bad typing. However – careful reading should help you discern between the two.
  • They claim to be from your country or born in your country but are not.
  • They claim to be brought up in a foregin country (to explain their foriegn accent).
  • The scammer claims to usually live in your country but currently works abroad on a ‘contract’ or may be travelling there or even back and forth.
  • Their profile or emails may contain bad grammar and broken English.
  • Certain counries appear regularly. Nigeria, Iraq, Afghanistan and deployed on war missions (all tug at the heart strings).
  • They are widowed (heart strings).
  • They have a disabled or sick family member, mother, father or child.
  • One or more family members is dead – mother or father.
  • Profile is too good to be true – they score 20 out of 10 on every box you need ticked.
  • The profile is word for word perfect and excesivley long.
  • Text is repeated or copied and pasted from another source.
  • Emails and conversation does not match with profile information they entered.
  • Claims to be ‘honest’, ‘trustworthy’ and seeking ‘the love of their life’ and not looking for ‘perfection.’ Very appealing to those of us that are not portraits when we are contacted by good looking people.
  • Often they will use the word “honest”, “trustworthy” or “Godfearing”. Soldiers on missions or missionaries more rarely are a recent ply they often use.
  • Photo looks fake, studio shot or too good to be true!
  • The mention or offer of large sums of money money from a dead relative is the oldest and was the most common form or dating scam – though not so common now.
  • You are immediately asked to go onto an Instant messenger (chat) service like msn or yahoo, hotmail google talk or Facebook to avoid being trapped by the dating site owners.
  • A scammer with use numerous means to tug at your heart strings with romantic stories, picture perfect idealism when it comes to love, and many other things that will cause you to trust them or fall for their ‘honesty’ or charm.
  • They dislike using the telephone to communicate as this will blow the ball game. If they are from africa they may have an ‘American’ twang as they watch US TV shows but listen carefully.
  • They phone line is bad or sounds very distant (literally!)
  • strange activity in backgoround – ie calling from unusual place.
  • The phone connection takes an abnormally long time (a few seconds longers) for a local caller.
  • watch out for a sudden personal disaster need financial aid!
  • Task to a friend and don’t be embarrased because it happens (being duped by someone) to most of us at some point and your safety is No.1!
  • To avoid the receiver from being able to access your number when using a mobile or a landline dial 141 in front of the number you call.
  • watch out for sudden irrational or agressive behaviour if you dont respond to financial requests.
  • never feel guilt about not responding to a sudden financial need!
  • TOP TIP: Ask questions about their friends, pastor name, church name, which countries they go on holiday to and other things. They oftwn ask you to repeat the question to give them time to think!

Dos & Don’t on a date

  • never go to someone’s house – period!
  • never give out personal details – let the guy giveyou his number!
  • tell someone where you are going.
  • take your phone.
  • get a taxi.
  • never acceot a lift.
  • keep the date fairly short to start – inform them you may need to be away by X o’clock before you meet.
  • ask questions about friends, family and church.
  • possibly set up a separate ‘dating’ gmail account to give to people you meet on the web. You won’t need to use a separate email account on the website itself if it’s reputable.
  • don’t put too much info (never your addres or phone on the profile).
  • never be pushed into giving out your details – say; “I always wait till I’ve been friends for a bit before I give out my info if that’s ok with you?” If they say no – forget it!

What to do if you are in doubt or worried

  • contact us or a friend, family member or church member by email or call and DO NOT FEEL EMBARRASSED!
  • Do not ignore your instincts and just see what happens if in doubt we will check for you!
  • stop all communication with this person.
  • If you have sent money tell your bank right NOW – often they can block the transaction before it reaches its’ destination!
  • give us all the info you have on this person – other accounts on myspace or facebook etc.
  • Check out this police description of a romance scam.
  • Check out romancescams.org
  • Check out scamwatch.
  • Dating fraud advice.
  • See this video on dating scams.

Well – we hope the above tips and advice helps you stay safe and others in the fight against spam, romance scammers and internet dating site fraud. Now if you want some actual dating tips and advice on dating in general – check out our date advice guide! God bless you all – Edward at Fusion101:)


Copyright 2010 101ChristianNetworks. This guide article will give you help tips, alerts, giveaways, tell-tail signs, alarms, things to look out for, and gudence on how to know, be sure or spot if you are being scammed, conned, tricked or duped into giving or sending money abroad or away on Internet dating sites by farudsters, con artists or unreal users using fake ID, bogus or stolen profiles or identities.

101 Things To Do on a Date (well 49 things!)

I own the free Christian dating site Fusion101 and just noticed on someone’s profile a great list of things to do when you go on a date.

It’s so good I thought I had to post it here so other singles can get some ideas on interesting things to do when you meet someone that is a little out of the ordinary – and you don’t just want to go on a plain old dinner date – or one to one at the bar (I’m not sure Christians and bars should go together at all!:).

Anyway – here it is without further adoo!


1. Go to a flea market or a bookstore.
2. Hike or walk through an arboretum.
3. Visit an observatory or planetarium.
4. Take your dog(s) to the park.
5. Sing Karaoke
6. Attend a local festival, convention or fair.
7. Find a free concert.
8. Go to an arcade/trampoline
9. Take a complimentary class.
10. Play basketball.
14. Get breakfast and do a puzzle.
15. Browse through a record store. Talk music, family, and nostalgia while flipping through rows of classics.
16. Check out an animal show.
17. Take a factory tour or ferry.
18. Play golf.
19. Walk around at a farmer’s market. On a beautiful morning, there’s nothing better than strolling down rows of home-grown vegetables and baked goods. Wear my favorite flowy dress and heeled sandals.
20. Take the scenic route; walk to the first date together.
21. Check out a museum.
22. Attend a community theater play.
23. Volunteer. Give back and get to know each other.
24. Watch a college or high school sports game.
25. Attend a clean comedy open-mic.
26. See live music at a coffeehouse.
27. Watch a movie matinee.
31. Craft together. Go to a crafts store and make something.
32. Bowl.
33. Bake cookies.
34. Play a board game at a coffeehouse. Scrabble or Battleship.
35. Play Frisbee.
36. Fly a kite.
38. Skate. Ice-skate or roller-skate.
39. Walk to no particular place.
40. Clean up the neighborhood.
41. Bike around town.
42. Rent kayaks or paddle-boards or canoes.
43. Have a picnic. A picnic is always an adorable and sport my cutest button-up skirt and off-the-shoulder top.
44. Go to a zoo or aquarium.
48. Go swimming. Hot tub is another option.
49. Make a fire.

Question About 101 Christian Dating Site

Question:

If a person is Christian, Spiritual, but not religious is that okay? I believe in God & say my prayers daily and would be willing 2 watch a religious program online but not alone.  One will find more comfortable seats at home than elsewhere.

I have good values and don’t believe in emotional involvement except when done appropriately and have some unconventional ideas & beliefs, but that’s who I am.

My keyboard is broken & cannot join right away.  My computer guy is supposed 2 come by and fix it over the weekend.  I have 2 copy and paste some letters on here or I could not create this email.  It is no fun & very time-consuming.

Hope the above helps and have a nice week.

Sincerely,

D.


Answer: 

Hi there,
Its OK – Christ – thats the main issue.
But remember it does talk in the bible of the; ‘pure religion’ referring to Christianity. Unfortunately it’s not often pure – ie purely Christ centred and become ‘religious’ in the sense of ritualistic and the work religion has taken on a bad connotation because of it.
So now Christians say they don’t want to be religious when the bible speaks of the pure religion. I totally understand why they say this but there is a slight mix up in my humble opinion:)
But yes join my free Christin dating site and singles service and be yourself – we all see through a glass darkly
God bless you
Edward

Dating Sites You Can Trust

They say that to know a counterfeit from the real thing you don’t study counterfeits – you study the real thing – then when a counterfeit shows up – you recognise it instantly! This same principle applies if you are recommended a service or product by someone else – since they have actually tried it and studied it personally – and they KNOW it’s legitimate – they have found and recommend the real deal.

So what dating sites do I know for a fact are safe and trustworthy and not just out to get hold of your bucks? Mine for starters; www.fusion101.com – a totally free Christian dating service and site that is run for people and healthy Christian marriages – not for profit. It currently has over 300,000 Christian singles profiles worldwide and hundreds of marriages under it’s belt.

I would also recommend Match.com for folks that have spare cash – and a few of the paid Christian dating services like ChristianCafe. I would not recommend POF – I have had several bad reports about that site. But most alas – and as expected are just in it for the dough.

Are You Preparing for a Wedding or Marriage?

Most people are doing the former, putting more effort into preparing their Facebook page for their wedding photos and their footballer husband or trophy wife so the world can see how great they did. Let alone getting the invites ready for 400 guests… 398 of which they’ve never met.

So in the end what are you doing when it comes to preparing for a real Christian and godly marriage? Preparing for a fantastic wedding, or preparing your heart and mind for being a great husband or wife. Yep – contrary to what the world teaches us (and as people used to know back in the day – even non-Christians) it’s not what you can GET from the marriage – it’s what you can GIVE to your partner and your marriage! With that you-first mindset you can’t fail. Jesus proved it!

Do You Want to Be a Cartier or A Primark Woman?

Ladies; all men want sex – Christian or otherwise it makes no difference. Don’t give it to them until you are married (to a believer). Imagine this I heard from a preacher the other day and I thought was brilliant; When you go to Primark, the goods are all over the place. When you go to Cartier – the goods are under lock and key! Women – choose this day what you want to be; a Primark or Cartier woman. Don’t expect perfection but you are quite at liberty to wait till the men step up the their responsibilities and do what is necessary to become a great husband. Encouragement is key for men.

Footnote; men – this applies to YOU too!

The Creature With Two Heads

No I’m not talking about some dreadful date you went on, I’m talking about the marriage where there are two people in charge – it will fail. It’s the same with a business, a school, or any team and a marriage is a team where the ‘two become ONE flesh’. And this is why God insists one person must be in charge (in all the right ways and not world’s ways). But why does God appoint the man head? Well apart from the obvious – that he is physically stringer (in most cases:) someone has to lead.

A creature with two heads is a freak

So what does this mean for men? Does it mean he has a ticket to lord it over his woman, or a ticket to bully the woman to accept his stupid ideas – nope – hopefully when that happens she will resist until he sees sense. But ultimately he needs to become a man and step up to the plate to take on the extra responsibilities that leadership takes. Ultimately deep down most women want a leader – it’s a natural response. There are always exceptions, where circumstances mean roles are reversed in some areas for a season – that’s life.

So summary;

men
Step up to the plate and find out by looking at Christ what a man is. Be responsible, work and look after your family unto death! Be open to correction from your wife who often will have spiritual eyes where you have blind spots. Be aware being the head means you have to be prepared to give your life for her and your kids.

Women
Allow your man to lead and don’t be afraid to let him know (in a kind way) when he may be going off the track. Don’t let him bully you and always praise him when he does well and right. Don’t exasperate him when he messes up but encourage him.

The Best Dating Advice

Well this video is not quite dating advice, and it’s not coming from a Christian perspective -though it does have many Christian principles involved such as being patient and kind to your other half rather than impatient and impulsive and using damaging and uncaring language. It illustrates just how hard it is to change someone’s behaviour – let alone your own for the better. But there is a way to encourage others to be nicer and more caring towards you, and for you to be more caring towards others!

It’s more long term relationship advice for people already in a relationship and want to keep it going and strengthen it. It discuses the basic things people do wrong, not being patient, not rewarding someone when they do something right (not in a mercenary kind of way), being too critical at the wrong times and essentially getting all the wrong responses because you are using all the wrong methods and means and have all the wrong expectations etc etc! Anyway I hope is as enlightening for you as it was me.

How Do I Know What Someone is Really Like?

How can we get an insight into someone’s REAL character and personality?

The Bible has many interesting pieces of advice and one regarding the character of people is this;

“A man that has friends shows himself to be friendly.”

On first reading one might say; “duh.. a person who is friendly has lots of friends!” but actually as usual with The Bible it’s meaning is a little deeper and very useful. Consider it from the opposite angle; it’s really saying; any man that has lots of friends (and equally you could substitute; that is of good character) is more likely to be friendly (and of good character).

In other words, by getting to know the friends of someone you will get to know what the person in question is like. Lets face it, how many characters who are unsavoury have many friends of good character and vice versa?

So if you want to know about someone – get to know their friends, get to know the people they wish to associate with – not necessarily their family since this may tell you something about inherited characteristics and family are not friends by choice.

Another good way to assess someone when dating especially is to visit a person’s church and meet their church friends – another great indicator and insight into someone will be found here.