What Kind of Man Should I Marry?

Men have always had a weakness for looks when it comes to dating and finding a women to marry, and often if that is their weakness, end up choosing someone based on little else. Frankly when a man is confronted by great beauty – his senses and reasoning go to pot! Let alone the ability to distinguish between someone that really loves them – or someone that is with them for other motives or reasons. It’s just the way of the world, and mentioned many times in the Bible as being a man’s great weakness.

Equally, women often have similar troubles, but in a slightly different way; sometimes, when confronted with affluence and success in a man, they have the same mental reasoning block and in a subconscious effort to find and create a stable environment for their children, they will choose the man that can offer them financial stability over one that might actually be better for both then and their children in terms of their spiritual welfare.

Not only can money be an aphrodisiac for men and women, like beauty, though neither are bad in themselves, both can lead to all sorts of bad judgements if the person involved has not resolutely made up their mind beforehand to always go for the most Godly options placed before them and consult him in the process and give up their own notions of what’s right for them (often God has something totally different, more suited and better for believers).

The truth is, in a world where we are all told we are owed and should have and are entitled to everything – it can be almost impossible to see the wood for the trees for men and women when it comes to choosing the spouse that God would have them marry.

Well, along these lines, I just came across a short letter that a mother wrote to her daughter and thought that both men and women in church might benefit from reading it. Here it is;

“My mother once said to me; there are two kinds of men you’ll meet. The first will give you the life you want and the second will give you the love you desire. If you’re one of the lucky few, you will find both in the one person. But if you ever find yourself having to choose between the two, then always choose love.”

Christian Dating Without Scammers?

The number of people that are getting scammed these days is as many as in the early days of the Internet, and the reason is that the scammers have become more sophisticated in their attempts to steal money and other goods from unsuspecting and trusting singles online who are simply looking for love.

So what are the chances of finding a Christian dating site without scammers?.. when it would appear that if anyone, it’s Christians that are often first targeted by these dreadful people, since Christians have a natural desire to want to trust others. But what is probably more likely responsible for this targeting of single Christians on Internet dating services, is that eligible single Christians are few and far between even in church – I mean real believers – not ‘Sunday Christians’ – and the scammers know this. They know that a Christian looking for love does not have the world as his or her oyster and is far more likely to ‘bite’ on any bait they use to catch an unsuspecting Internet dater.

Which dating sites are safe?

So what can Christians do to avoid this? Rule number one; NEVER use free dating sites – unless it’s www.fusion101.com‘s free Christian dating site, and the reason we can endorse this service is from real reports from real members who specifically single this site out as being 99% scammer free. The reason they can do this when other free sites can’t?.. because the owner actually cares enough to spend 80% of his time checking and re-checking the profiles that the site contains are real, and by responding straight away to any reports of suspect activity. Because of this diligence the site has built up a database of clean profiles and does not try to profit from the extra activity and revenue that in fact scammers can generate by messaging and interacting with other members.

Tips on avoiding being scammed on dating sites

Here is a great article giving you many many ways to spot and avoid Internet dating scammers; 101 Tips on How to Avoid Internet Dating & Romance Scammers

Godly Rules For Dating and Marriage

Look, the world (and sometimes the church) can mess up our heads and minds when it comes to what godly Christian dating and what godly marriage is – and I’ll put my hands up first and say I’ve been just as confused and guilty as anyone else of breaking God’s laws, and running ahead myself without consulting Him.

And that’s why I wanted to show you this ‘old-school’ video – that is not really old-school at all – since there is no such thing in God’s rule book – there really is nothing new under the sun, and God really is the same yesterday, today and forever! Here Derek Prince, in his talk; ‘God is a Matchmaker’ gets to the nitty-gritty of what dating and marriage should be all about – and I warn you, it’s not what we are often told today. I hope it helps you in your Christian walk to find a godly Christian husband or wife.

Why Keep Yourself Pure Until Marriage?

Unfortunately for me it’s too late to say that I will ever be pure before marriage but that’s why I wanted to encourage all those who are thinking about and struggling with how to deal with this issue and need an amazing reason(s) to stay pure and not have sex before marriage. Sometimes the truth is blindingly obvious yet we can miss it in the quagmire or life.

The fact is, it’s never too late to clean your life up and that’s why I’m (re)posting this as I felt it was truly inspirational for young and older worldly people alike who are perhaps thinking of getting married and pondering the; ‘should I not have sex before marriage’ question (the answer to which is incredibly obvious from reading The bible and yet we all get bogged down in questioning it’s clear abstinence stance on the issue because the world confuses Christians and no-Christians alike).

The Vigilante Christian explains why treating God’s sons’ and daughters like the gold-dust they are will set you set apart from all the other guys and girls on the planet – literally like one-in-a-million

5 Reasons NOT to be Attracted to Someone!

  • Compatibility – yep that’s right – it’s got nothing to do with this – none of us sinners are, and none of us ever will be – sorry eHarmony!
  • Physical appearance. Yes we’re all obsessed with it these days – but it fades – 100% – always! Beautiful on the outside – horrid on the inside as beauty often stifles a person’s  chance to grow internally and spiritually.
  • What they can give you. Riches are nothing compared to real servitude and sacrifice.
  • Status – Jesus, the most influential person that ever walked the earth, was a humble carpenter – enough said.
  • Wealth – it’s harder for a rich man (or woman) to make it to heaven than… we all know the parable and the reason is simple – riches are deceitful and stop us relying on God for all our needs. If you wish for wealth – beware, it has the tendency to drag you away from your real sustainer. If you are wealthy it is all the more reason to get on your knees EVERY day and not forget your creator and the one who sustains your spirit.

More articles on the subject of attraction can be found here.

Speed Dating Advice

You’ve probably heard many stories about speed dating in the last ten years or so since it became popular in the late 90’s and may be wondering what it’s like and how good it is to meet new single friends. Well the fact is I’ve been on quite a few speed date nights an definitely recommend it to anyone. Not only is it incredibly informal but it takes the stress right out of going on a date. Here’s a site that goes into more depth and includes some recommended sites and service. Please check out more information on speed dating events and service here.

Why You Should Never Marry Outside Your Christian Faith

Everyone knows that one of the most contentious issues in many marriages is wife and mother in law relationships and as Christians wives and mothers-in-laws, we should do everything possible to meet each other where we are at to make life and the family home peaceful – after all – which mother in law will have your perfect ideals, and which wife will have your exacting child-rearing standards?

Well regarding fathers in law, someone once said;

“If you marry a child of the Devil, you’ll have a lot of problems with your father in law”

Christian looking to marry a non-Christian? Gravity is NOT on your side!

I will guarantee you this will be a problem if you attempt to marry someone who is unreformed in the hope they will become reformed. It will likely never happen as the reforming need to be done – BEFORE marriage – and of their own will – not yours! Why? Because the playing field of a Christian believer and an non-Christian unbeliever is not equal – so you simply can’t win the struggle. The unbeliever is under the table pulling you down, and you’re on the table trying to pull them up – who will win? It’s clear who will win – the person with gravity of the world on their side. The believer will end up compromising all kinds of areas and regret it for the rest of their lives.

Don’t pick an uphill battle you can’t win

So – don’t even think about marrying a non-Christian husband of wife if you are a man or woman of God. This is not about being divisive or bigoted or unfeeling or judgemental – the advice here is almost entirely practical. Do you want a serious headache for the rest of your married life? And then all the problems and arguments over how and what the children are taught and brought up?

Your Best Wife Now!

I’m not sure about Joel Osteen’s idea of Your Best Life Now – I certainly don’t read that in the Bible… but I do read something more along the lines of Your Best Wife Now in the well known book and verse in the Bible namely Proverbs 31 (and Your Best Husband Now appears in various places too!).

What kind of wife do we Christian men really need?

Surely this 2000+ year old Bible verse and description of what we today should be looking for in a Godly Christian wife is hopelessly out of date? I mean haven’t we moved on? Hmm. I don’t know about that – as last time I checked the Bible also says God (the inspirer of the Biblical texts written by men) is the same yesterday, today and forever.

But seriously – what are we men supposed to look for in a Godly wife? Well – I have to say that description fits my wife-to-be absolutely perfectly and she is the most Godly girlfriend I have had (and I’m not advocating having more than one if possible – it’s just that I wasn’t always the perfect person I am now:) I am joking of course in regards to me – I’ve not been a very godly person myself – but having seen the match in Proverbs 31 and experiencing this kind of diligent, hard-working, God-seeking, loving person – she leaves 99% girls in the dust. There is just no comparison.

The Bible is right!

I lived in and around London for many years and I have to say that finding a really godly person – and I mean really Godly (i.e one that understands that the church had become very worldly and is not swayed by the media or how the latest cool preacher on the block interprets the Bible) male or female in today’s church is like finding a needle in a haystack. Before you go nuts and assume I am a self-righteous moron (sometimes i am actually) I believe I can say this as I myself fit into this category. I guess my only saving grace might be I recognise it and don’t like it in myself. I certainly wanted someone less like me and more like Jesus – but of course it’s my responsibility to make myself ready for my wife to be too if God is ever going to bless me with in really godly spouse.

I once heard a preacher that always told couples he was marrying that they were incompatible at the start of the service! The point being that we all need to clean ourselves up and get along with people who are different. There are no compatible human beings as we are all stubborn, irritating, annoying, selfish etc etc and these things will not magically disappear when we go into marriage.

In other words WE must get along with our partners and always be willing humble ourselves if we have any hope of staying together. And also realise that divorce is really not an option in The Bible BEFORE we get married. Not – well let’s see if we get on! No – you must get on period. There is a silver lining to this, and that is if you both make the decision to forgive and forget after every row then a marriage can last forever!

How did I get onto that tangent?! I don’t know I just see such lame teaching in churches these days on marriage and divorce. God hates divorce so you must find the will – where there is a will there is a way and this is true!

Back to the point of the article. Sure there are tonnes of ‘eligible’ guys and girls but very few that really seek God – I mean really read their Bible – know the difference between a King James and an NIV or see the vast difference between a Joel Osteen or a Spurgeon. I have been truly inspired to seek God more myself by my girlfriend – a gift from God I recognise and this is really the way it should be. Not only that fellas, this girl who listens to the small still voice on my behalf when I am being, frankly an idiot, has got me out of many situations where my own rebellious and sometimes wilful sin has stopped me from seeing the wood for the trees and this – this is the kind of wife you need as  Christian!




I am Concerned About Using Internet Dating Sites

Hello. I am a 26 years old single mom living in Jamaica. I was baptized when a teenager. Since then i have found myself on another path. My partner and i was together for 8 years. however I recognized that it was not  a healthy relationship so i left. I am hoping for a fresh start. We are all adjusting to the change. I am very interested in self development, esp career wise but most important as an individual.I am hoping to find a good friend who is interested in impacting the world around him. I believe my partner must first be my friend. My son is 5. the man I get involved with must be good for my son. meaning that he should be a good influence in hi life. I am deep. I don’t care mush for what the world seem to crave. I love to have meaningful conversation. The last time I tried to meet someone online I met a guy who sent me a skype video masturbating. I am still grossed out!! My cousin advised me to give it another try as she met her husband online. I would love to meet someone from another race and culture. He should be older than me because he needs to be mature. I don’t mean to discriminate but I have found that younger men are a bit behind, they are still drawn to the excitement that the world has to offer and fails to see the real deal. I will not join until i hear from you. Please be honest with your feedback. If you don’t have a good and honest advice, give none at all. Thank you.
Hi there,
all your sentiments sound good to me – I am not surprised at your internet experience so far – the web is full of such things. By all means try my website www.fusion101.com – it’s a free Christian singles and dating service and I take a lot of time trying to weed out time wasters and have never had a report of the above. So whilst I will not promise the single Christians on my site are perfect – many are great people and everyone is different so please give people a chance – sometimes what you think is unsuitable may turn out to be what you need once you get to know a person – and vice versa of course.
 Please let me know if you come accros any suspect activity so I can deal with and keep other members safe.
God bless you 🙂

Single Christian Widows: Dating Sites & Services

Are there any services or dating agencies out there that cater for single Christian widows or Christian widowers? Yes there are but you need to watch out, as many ‘Christian’ sites are not in fact owned or run by Christians or, have your best interests at heart. They will charge you lots of cash for not much in return – and many often even have fake profiles added by the company themselves. It’s hard to believe but true – there are companies out there that will actually sell you 10,000 fake profiles to add to your site and offer to install them!

So – that said, we would straight away recommend our own Christian OWNED and run service that’s genuinely a totally free service, that has been running for 15 years and is one of the oldest and most trusted singe Christian websites where many widowers can meet and mingle with each other for friendship and hopefully find love. Started in the UK but now serving USA, Canada, Australia and every other country, I can guarantee you that I set this site up just for you – and not for profit and as such my members recognise this and recommend fusion101 free Christian dating to their friends and families who are single and looking for marriage.

SINGLE WIDOWS: Free dating service for Christians…

Vist fusion101.com >>


Other dating services, sites  & agencies for widows & widowers

Here are some other interesting services and dating agency sites online that are just for single widowed men and women looking for real relationships and not just a hookups as many date sites now seemed to be geared towards.



Related widowers articles, sites, dating services and links:

www.widowedandyoung.org.uk – bereavement support and dating


wikipedia.org – widow