You’ve probably heard many stories about speed dating in the last ten years or so since it became popular in the late 90’s and may be wondering what it’s like and how good it is to meet new single friends. Well the fact is I’ve been on quite a few speed date nights an definitely recommend it to anyone. Not only is it incredibly informal but it takes the stress right out of going on a date. Here’s a site that goes into more depth and includes some recommended sites and service. Please check out more information on speed dating events and service here.
Everyone knows that one of the most contentious issues in many marriages is wife and mother in law relationships and as Christians wives and mothers-in-laws, we should do everything possible to meet each other where we are at to make life and the family home peaceful – after all – which mother in law will have your perfect ideals, and which wife will have your exacting child-rearing standards?
Well regarding fathers in law, someone once said;
“If you marry a child of the Devil, you’ll have a lot of problems with your father in law”
Christian looking to marry a non-Christian? Gravity is NOT on your side!
I will guarantee you this will be a problem if you attempt to marry someone who is unreformed in the hope they will become reformed. It will likely never happen as the reforming need to be done – BEFORE marriage – and of their own will – not yours! Why? Because the playing field of a Christian believer and an non-Christian unbeliever is not equal – so you simply can’t win the struggle. The unbeliever is under the table pulling you down, and you’re on the table trying to pull them up – who will win? It’s clear who will win – the person with gravity of the world on their side. The believer will end up compromising all kinds of areas and regret it for the rest of their lives.
Don’t pick an uphill battle you can’t win
So – don’t even think about marrying a non-Christian husband of wife if you are a man or woman of God. This is not about being divisive or bigoted or unfeeling or judgemental – the advice here is almost entirely practical. Do you want a serious headache for the rest of your married life? And then all the problems and arguments over how and what the children are taught and brought up?
I’m not sure about Joel Osteen’s idea of Your Best Life Now – I certainly don’t read that in the Bible… but I do read something more along the lines of Your Best Wife Now in the well known book and verse in the Bible namely Proverbs 31 (and Your Best Husband Now appears in various places too!).
What kind of wife do we Christian men really need?
Surely this 2000+ year old Bible verse and description of what we today should be looking for in a Godly Christian wife is hopelessly out of date? I mean haven’t we moved on? Hmm. I don’t know about that – as last time I checked the Bible also says God (the inspirer of the Biblical texts written by men) is the same yesterday, today and forever.
But seriously – what are we men supposed to look for in a Godly wife? Well – I have to say that description fits my wife-to-be absolutely perfectly and she is the most Godly girlfriend I have had (and I’m not advocating having more than one if possible – it’s just that I wasn’t always the perfect person I am now:) I am joking of course in regards to me – I’ve not been a very godly person myself – but having seen the match in Proverbs 31 and experiencing this kind of diligent, hard-working, God-seeking, loving person – she leaves 99% girls in the dust. There is just no comparison.
The Bible is right!
I lived in and around London for many years and I have to say that finding a really godly person – and I mean really Godly (i.e one that understands that the church had become very worldly and is not swayed by the media or how the latest cool preacher on the block interprets the Bible) male or female in today’s church is like finding a needle in a haystack. Before you go nuts and assume I am a self-righteous moron (sometimes i am actually) I believe I can say this as I myself fit into this category. I guess my only saving grace might be I recognise it and don’t like it in myself. I certainly wanted someone less like me and more like Jesus – but of course it’s my responsibility to make myself ready for my wife to be too if God is ever going to bless me with in really godly spouse.
I once heard a preacher that always told couples he was marrying that they were incompatible at the start of the service! The point being that we all need to clean ourselves up and get along with people who are different. There are no compatible human beings as we are all stubborn, irritating, annoying, selfish etc etc and these things will not magically disappear when we go into marriage.
In other words WE must get along with our partners and always be willing humble ourselves if we have any hope of staying together. And also realise that divorce is really not an option in The Bible BEFORE we get married. Not – well let’s see if we get on! No – you must get on period. There is a silver lining to this, and that is if you both make the decision to forgive and forget after every row then a marriage can last forever!
How did I get onto that tangent?! I don’t know I just see such lame teaching in churches these days on marriage and divorce. God hates divorce so you must find the will – where there is a will there is a way and this is true!
Back to the point of the article. Sure there are tonnes of ‘eligible’ guys and girls but very few that really seek God – I mean really read their Bible – know the difference between a King James and an NIV or see the vast difference between a Joel Osteen or a Spurgeon. I have been truly inspired to seek God more myself by my girlfriend – a gift from God I recognise and this is really the way it should be. Not only that fellas, this girl who listens to the small still voice on my behalf when I am being, frankly an idiot, has got me out of many situations where my own rebellious and sometimes wilful sin has stopped me from seeing the wood for the trees and this – this is the kind of wife you need as Christian!
Hello. I am a 26 years old single mom living in Jamaica. I was baptized when a teenager. Since then i have found myself on another path. My partner and i was together for 8 years. however I recognized that it was not a healthy relationship so i left. I am hoping for a fresh start. We are all adjusting to the change. I am very interested in self development, esp career wise but most important as an individual.I am hoping to find a good friend who is interested in impacting the world around him. I believe my partner must first be my friend. My son is 5. the man I get involved with must be good for my son. meaning that he should be a good influence in hi life. I am deep. I don’t care mush for what the world seem to crave. I love to have meaningful conversation. The last time I tried to meet someone online I met a guy who sent me a skype video masturbating. I am still grossed out!! My cousin advised me to give it another try as she met her husband online. I would love to meet someone from another race and culture. He should be older than me because he needs to be mature. I don’t mean to discriminate but I have found that younger men are a bit behind, they are still drawn to the excitement that the world has to offer and fails to see the real deal. I will not join until i hear from you. Please be honest with your feedback. If you don’t have a good and honest advice, give none at all. Thank you.
all your sentiments sound good to me – I am not surprised at your internet experience so far – the web is full of such things. By all means try my website www.fusion101.com – it’s a free Christian singles and dating service and I take a lot of time trying to weed out time wasters and have never had a report of the above. So whilst I will not promise the single Christians on my site are perfect – many are great people and everyone is different so please give people a chance – sometimes what you think is unsuitable may turn out to be what you need once you get to know a person – and vice versa of course.
Please let me know if you come accros any suspect activity so I can deal with and keep other members safe.God bless you 🙂
Are there any services or dating agencies out there that cater for single Christian widows or Christian widowers? Yes there are but you need to watch out, as many ‘Christian’ sites are not in fact owned or run by Christians or, have your best interests at heart. They will charge you lots of cash for not much in return – and many often even have fake profiles added by the company themselves. It’s hard to believe but true – there are companies out there that will actually sell you 10,000 fake profiles to add to your site and offer to install them!
So – that said, we would straight away recommend our own Christian OWNED and run service that’s genuinely a totally free service, that has been running for 15 years and is one of the oldest and most trusted singe Christian websites where many widowers can meet and mingle with each other for friendship and hopefully find love. Started in the UK but now serving USA, Canada, Australia and every other country, I can guarantee you that I set this site up just for you – and not for profit and as such my members recognise this and recommend fusion101 free Christian dating to their friends and families who are single and looking for marriage.
SINGLE WIDOWS: Free dating service for Christians…
Vist fusion101.com >>
Other dating services, sites & agencies for widows & widowers
Here are some other interesting services and dating agency sites online that are just for single widowed men and women looking for real relationships and not just a hookups as many date sites now seemed to be geared towards.
Related widowers articles, sites, dating services and links:
I had an email yesterday from a very concerned member of my totally free Christian dating service www.fusion101.com. The person said she had read the profile of another member and said that (my paraphrase); “he seemed hard and insensitive and not even Christian” (she actually used slightly harsher terms to describe this person). Please note, unknown to me she had not actually spoken to him on email or phone at this point, but I was quite alarmed and wanted to check the profile and if necessary block his account as I always do when I run across suspect members or people using the site for means other than it was intended – to bring real single Christians together – until that was, I looked him up and realised there might be a bit more to this.
As it happened, I happened to have spoken to this member she reported on the phone at length some six months before on the telephone, having blocked his account after having a similar complaint about his profile. Interesting I thought; she has not spoken to him and nothing makes sense. I have spoken to him – at length – and to me his one ‘harsh’ profile makes quite a lot of sense – granted – even if a little odd.
Yes it was unusual but he was sincere and he was as far as I could tell – a Christian. I quizzed him on his belief in Christ. After a long conversation about many things I finally came to the conclusion that yes his profile was ‘black and white’ – he was incredibly intelligent – a lecturer (almost too much so for his own good) and simply wanted to meet someone who also though very – very deeply about life and Christianity. He even stated on his profile that his profile may seem harsh – but that he wanted to find a similar person and didn’t want to waste his or other people’s time. A problem we all want to avoid as single Christians who have enough trouble meeting people already, let alone going down lots of blind alleys.
Anyhow – I emailed this lady and said perhaps she should contact him and ask him himself what the reason for his ‘harsh’ profile was, half expecting her to come back and say yes, he was not a nice person and half expecting her to… well say the opposite. Then, something interesting happened. Here is her email I have kept anonymous to me;
“Dear Edward,Well after chatting some more with this guy I find him intriguing. He is coming across more polite and kinder than I originally thought. Yes you are right he is super intelligent – well he must be if he chose to contact me – only kidding 🙂Funny how nothing on my profile met his criteria yet he chose to contact me and pay me a couple of compliments. I find him fascinating, his views – I guess that’s the side of me that enjoys learning about people, their journey and experiences that has minded their personality.Not sure if I find him husband material but certainly interesting on discussion points.”
Give Christians a chance – we are after all, fish out of water
So this is what I mean when I said; give Christian girls and especially guys a chance. The Bible says God’s (real) people are a peculiar people and it wasn’t wrong!.. but most of us have hearts in the right place. It’s hard trying to live in the world but not be of it, and it can creates tensions people who are very comfortable in the world don’t have to deal with – but you would soon see them if they tried to follow Christ.
A real life example of bad judgemnet of someone’s character based on looking at outward signs only
There are a few out there – not that many to be precise, but there are some genuinely free Christian dating sites out there. Now this may shock you as it did me – but you need to be careful which site you join when you join a free dating site – period. Here’s why; most dating sites are setup for profit, and most free dating sites do not bring in enough cash to be able to pay people and staff to monitor them properly – I know because I own a free Christian dating site – needless to say we are different – otherwise I would not be posting this article about free Christian dating sites.
I personally make sure all profiles are individually checked and monitored with a series of questions designed to give away a persons’ real motives for being on the site – be it a casual hookup – in which caee they are deleted or they have joined my free Christian dating service to find a genuine relationship and are serious about marriage!
So, here’s the shocking story I was referring to that should make us all think twice about which site should I join when it comes to Internet dating?
OK – Im posting this because I just saw a girl do a so-called ‘Christian dating advice’ or ‘help’ video for single Christians on YouTube. Trouble is, what would have been OK was made absolutely terrible – the Christian girl doing the video was made up to look gorgeous as she was naturally good looking – and I guess I cannot fault her there, HOWEVER – the girl was also wearing next to NOTHING!.. continuously making gestures towards her chest that was half exposed and just totally flirtatious and all the time doing it in a ‘trying not to appear flirtatious way’.
This unfortunately is the kind of hair-brained Christians we have created with churches like Hillsong and what I call the ‘Hillsong Generation’ where it’s all about appearance, looking good, affluence, decadence, being cool and very little about Bible and Jesus. You know that church that is so not like the biblical description of church it makes the rest that I thought were unbiblical look positively saintly.
Anyway – breath of fresh air – I did another search for Christian dating advice and came across this; a really nice looking Christian girl that DOES know what she’s talking about – does keep herself modest so as not to be speaking from both sides of her mouth – one side telling the guys not to lust and the other flashing her assets. I’m afraid this is what happened so don’t blame me – and no I’m not going to add a link to the ‘other’ bad video to get you into trouble. And just incase you think I over reacted – the comments on the said video agree with me on this and frankly I am sick of it.
So – back to the good Christian dating advice video that really does give useful insights into how Christian women think about Christian guys and how guys can approach them without putting them off and be confident the girl (or man) you are appraching will be nice in return – even if it doesn’t tuen out to be your spouse! Happy viewing and God bless you.
That would be a bit like asking; is driving a car to get from A to B biblical? Why do I say that?.. because cars were not around then to make getting from one place to another easier and neither were dating agencies – to make meeting new people easier. Driving cars certainly is not biblical in that sense, and neither is using online dating agencies or matchmakers, let alone Christian dating services. Jesus looked very unfavourably on the money changers and yet who among us does not have a bank account and deal with money changers daily? But Jesus was also extremely practical and fully aware of the constraints and restrictions that believers and lovers of God face.
But the question; is online dating biblical? is still a serious one, and the person asking is probably better saying something like; what would Jesus say about dating services? The answer is probably (as I obviously cannot speak for Jesus) that he would say use whatever means necessary to find a godly wife and go forth and multiply (we are commanded to do the latter part and though marriage is not for everyone we cannot do it without a spouse). Today’s world where neighbourly friendship and community hardy exists any more, and families and friends are fragmented, and people are to mentally and physically too worn out by working six and even seven (we should not be working seven incidentally – it’s simply bad for your health – God knew this and placed this limit in the 10 commandments as a blessing) days a week to find a spouse and our parents no longer help in the looking and choosing process – we really need some help.
I would suggest that an organisation set up by Christians and run by Christians, and with your best intentions in heart and mind (most dating services are only interested in your wallet these days unfortunately) this could really benefit all those that are really struggling to meet people at church. An online service brings people from vast areas and many churches together so that you can much more easily make a Christian connection with someone who loves God with heart mind and soul. The reason I am slightly bias in this is because I setup precisely such a service – my only desire was to help Christians meet their Christian husband or wife – after seeing so many Christians resort to club, bars, and all kinds of un-Godly activities in their genuine desire to find someone having had no help from their church leaders. I myself resorted to church hopping, bars and all the usual blind alleys and really things I did not want to do until I decided to try and do something about it. My heart’s desire was to meet someone at church but after 20 years with no progress I tried to do something about it.
Well there’s my take on it – you may disagree as we all see through a glass darkly, but I hope my free Christian dating service and singles site really helps you!
I run a Christian dating website – www.fusion101.com – and I have noticed over many years (I have run it since 2000) that the one thing that comes up in the ‘characteristics desired’ question on the profile pages is ‘funny’ – in other words most ladies want a man that can make them laugh.
Of course this is no problem and most men know this and it’s why you see men going to often great extremes to get a woman’s attention by using humour and there is a perfectly good place for this – I mean who wants to go out or marry someone and have no humour in the relationship.
A disturbing trend
What worries me is what I don’t see often enough (rarely in fact in the ladies – or men’s profiles) is that people are seeking after a good man – a man of God – a man that loves God with his heart mind and soul! Surely ladies and gents this has to be infinitely more important than ANY other traits on our ‘wishlist’ – something I find somewhat dubious in my older greyer days.
My Christian dating advice for men and women everywhere is please – please – please make this your number one thing – even if it means sacrificing humour or some other nice but largely superficial trait. The Bible tells us so!